This morning I sat in on a webinar led by the inspiring Laura Casey. If you are not familiar with her make sure to check out her site and story when you get a second. It's a new one for me but I have been deeply blessed by her words and life so much recently. The webinar was a freebie to all of us who purchased Laura's 2014 Powersheets - I received them about a week ago and have just been staring at them kind of nervous and worried to dive in and "make a mess" as she would say of the stuff that is on my heart to go after.
The Powersheets are designed to help you focus on the things that matter most to you and how to really simplify all the other stuff that gets our attention in order to move forward on the dreams and goals that are constantly being pushed aside for lack of time. I kept thinking about my post yesterday the entire hour as Laura shared and how I had just written about feeling uninspired, in a slump, stuck so to speak and it occurred to me that maybe I am feeling this way because I am sitting back participating in the feast of comparison that is so easy to feed my mind and heart with through social media.
Laura challenged us to really honestly think about how much time we spend on Facebook and Instagram...I conservatively wrote down 14 hours per week but would not be shocked if it was more like 28 hours. TWENTY EIGHT HOURS!!! Sitting there looking at my cute pink iPhone clearly picking apart how I don't add up as a mother, wife, friend, daughter, artist, blogger, creative because I am looking at someone else's beauty...reality check much? Oh man it was such a great eye opener to realize that half the problem here for me is that I desire to make my life look like much instead of making much of my life...yeah I said it. I value fitting in and connecting online and then get out that big old measuring stick every ten minutes to see if I am enough. Meanwhile the rest of my world is shrinking. Not to say all of social media is bad but I do think it can become an issue if given too much power and I am admitting it can be an issue for me.
This is all kind of a major brain dump here but you guys were so so gentle with me yesterday as I confessed to needing to just write a bit about what's going on in my mind - thank you for that truly! Honestly I do want to make much of my life, we all do right? But how to start? First of all I think we need to ask ourselves why we do all the things that we do - not just how...we need to make clear why we spend our time the way we do, like why do I like to make stuff?
I like to make stuff because when I focus my mind and hands on creating something beautiful with what I have it helps me feel closer to the one who created me and in doing so is an outpouring of worship. But here's a closer look...I have always wanted to be a part of encouraging other women to go after making beauty in the form of maybe teaching classes or workshops. My husband works at a rescue mission with a women's recovery program and he is constantly encouraging me to come down and host a craft hour. Why haven't I done it? Because I don't think I am "ready" or "good enough a crafter" to inspire someone else to make beauty.
Blogging has given me that outlet in a safe and controlled way but what if I were to peel back the layers of my passion and dreams a bit more - the fear I am feeling is simply not wanting to jump out and try something more for fear of it not being perfect.
This is where I get stuck and why I distract myself with social media because it keeps me busy and convinced that I will never add up to enough to go after my dreams because everyone else is doing it better.
I need to start focusing on the why's because in doing that I can ask God to give me the courage and strength to stretch myself and have a clear goal in mind. It says in proverbs 16:9 The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. A few days ago Laura wrote about how we can be so afraid to make a plan because we don't want to get in God's way of doing "His will for our lives" the problem is if we don't make a plan God can't change the plans and help us move forward better...we are simply just waiting.
Carpe Diem right..make something more with what has been given!
Carpe Diem right..make something more with what has been given!
phew...maybe enough overexposing for one day here but I am really relishing this chance to capture what's on my heart during this season. I have so many more ideas and things rumbling around and I plan to really get after my Powersheets next and make a little by little, as Laura would call it, plan to go after the fullness of life that God has given me to live out.
One more little thought from the mouth of one of my babes for today though...about a year ago our little Levi who is really in love with art and drawing and making fun projects was sitting at the table with my husband. They were talking about life and Chris made the offhand comment that "wow Levi you are really good at art when you get older maybe you will become an artist" Levi looked up from his paper right in his eyes confused and he said "but Daddy I already am an artist"
Truth. It's in you, it's in me, let's get after it! xoxo
you are just wonderful, rebekah. thank you so much for posting this, i feel the same way too
ReplyDeleteit's all wonderful. simply wonderful!!! and so true.
ReplyDeletei love what i am hearing in you and how alive & restored & excited you sound!
What a wonderful, honest, post... It is so true that we are constantly bombarding ourselves with so many images online that convince us we are failing, and all the while it is taking our focus away from that which we are truly passionate about.... Thank you for this, I can't wait to read more! -Ashley
ReplyDeleteI have to tell you right before you posted this last week I was in prayer about 2014 being the year I figure out what I really want and whats really important to be. I feel like I've been in transition for years now and I want to be intentional about coming out the other side with a purpose of where God wants me. Thank you SO much for the link to the spreadsheets, I think they will be so helpful in this journey. What an immediate answered prayer :)
ReplyDeleteI can relate to a LOT of what you are talking about here. About two years ago, I was really feeling like a mess. I felt like I was not doing a good job at any of my responsibilities (parenting, cleaning, being a wife, my side responsibilities, etc.). I remember repeatedly looking up and telling God, "I cannot handle my life!" I guess something was the "enough is enough" moment, and I started making little changes, one at a time, to take back control.
ReplyDeleteI know that I still have A LOT of improvement and always will, and that's ok, but just within the last month or two, I finally can say, yes, I am doing a good job. Good enough for me, anyway. One of the biggest changes, for me, (and I don't mean to say that this is something that everyone has to do), was to shut down my facebook account. Just the fact that thinking of getting off filled me with dread told me that that was exactly what I had to do. I could make excuses that this was an important way for me to keep contact with family far away, and it was an important way to market my classes I was teaching, but deep down, I knew I had to get out. It was one of the best decisions I have made. It was a humongous time suck, and it filled me with so much stress. I also got into a really great Bible study, started doing FlyLady (I love her), and other little things, one at a time.
You are a beautiful, smart, creative woman (I hope that's not too forward for someone who doesn't even know you), and more importantly, you know the Lord, and He will help you find what you need to do for this time in your life. Isaiah 30:21 says, "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.' " (Sorry, I never can comment without writing a whole book. :-)