( a belated post for my sweet Zeb who turned one on May 3rd. Pictures from his birthday breakfast!)
I can hardly believe that it is already time to write you your very first birthday letter. It's bittersweet for me - you are going to be my last baby and to be honest it's all just gone by way too fast. In so many ways you were our BIG surprise package. I still scratch my head at the timing, all that we had endured the months leading up to finding out about you. The job loss, the houses lost, the cars and school and church and community we lost...I was very sick and weary and was still caring for a young baby. Yes you were a surprise indeed, or rather a gift just as your name means. Zeb: "a gift of Jehovah, dwelling of honor". God gave you to me Zeb during a season that felt so deeply painful and barren. A time in so many ways that my heart is still recovering from. But instead of forgetting us He placed you in my arms and reminded me that sometimes blessings are not the things that make life easy or comfortable but the things that bring us love.
Zeb you are truly one of the sweetest babies ever. Your disposition is hilarious, you are an observer of life (mainly three older siblings :)) and have a very quiet gently way. You laugh so easily too it is awesome. All your brothers and sister have to do is give you a look and you're a fit of giggles making us delight in the joy inside of you!
On the eve of your first birthday you were crying yourself to sleep (for the record Josie kept stealing your binky and turning on and off the light in your room :)) but instead of letting you settle yourself I went in and picked you up and carried you downstairs to the rocker by the fire. I sat with you snuggled in my arms and melted into a sea of tears. Rocking my last baby on his last night before turning one. I never ever knew how much I wanted you or how very much we needed you to complete our big family of six. I am so very grateful for all the love and joy you have brought into our home.
I love you Zeb more than you will ever know - I love getting to know you more and more everyday. At your birthday party when we sang to you I loved watching you look around the room and take in everyone there, everyone smiling and celebrating you. You drink in life so intentionally, I already learn so much from you buddy and I can not wait to see what this next year holds!