make something monday :: project fail

Yes it's true friends, fail.

And that is so how I have been feeling the past few days too so it shouldn't have come as a surprise to me that my attempt at crafting this week was going to end in a disastrous mess.

It was most likely during one of our middle of the night deliriums that I came up with the idea to take one of Mr. Gough's ugly white tank tops and snip it apart into some gorgeous redone frock to impress you with. Yes, I am most certain now that it was in the middle of the night, in between me using some naughty words while listening to our four month old struggle, again. I blame it on sleep deprivation - but that is what I had planned to do.

And so it was yesterday morning that I set out to spend about thirty minutes of precious alone time to come up with a project to share with you. The old under t-shirt in hand, down to my studio I escaped.

I did snip and sew and even added a cute little doily and buttons to the tank top, but the fact of the matter was that this little frock was originally a Calvin Klein size large white under shirt and the finish piece basically looks like a boat neck tunic for a full sized man. It's HUGE..so sad.

Just about the time I realized that my project was a fail Josie started screaming again. I had used up my precious moments and now the harsh reality of my life at the moment was there reminding me that I had other things to do and needed to leave it and get back to work. Every ounce of deep perfectionism inside of me begged me to come up with a new craft for today's feature. My mind was racing with other projects to throw together - and then it hit me. The Lord spoke to my heart, this failed shirt was a much needed reminder of the real reason behind why I create.

When Chris asked me what I was going to share today with you I told him about the craft I had come up with and how it had turned into a disastrous mess. He laughed and said that I needed to tell you all about it instead of making something different. Then he offered to try on the shirt. We laughed - hard. I considered showing you a photo but used my better judgment. But you're lucky because like I said I haven't slept much.

I have been asked repeatedly about how I manage to find the time to be crafty and blog about my little world with three kids at home, a new baby and all. It is a hard question to answer but I will do my best. The reason I find the time is because it is so desperately important to me. To be able to maintain some amount of me in my life is so critical during this hazy season of sleepless nights and busy days.

Right now if you were to come over to my house I bet you would be shocked at how messy it is. My boys spent the night with Nana and Papa over the weekend and I literally had no clean jammies OR clean pants to send with. Like fifteen loads of laundry need to be done here folks. Today I took my first shower in five days and my baby cried the entire time. I served oatmeal for dinner one night last week in my sweats. It was not hot but Mr. Gough made berry smoothies to go with which was pretty hot to me. My four year old has nightmares and doesn't sleep, my four month old projectile vomits 30 times a day, no exaggeration because I have to count...Chris and I argue, we're tired and dirty, we have no clue how we will make ends meet. My life has the potential of strangling me to death. You can relate?

This is why I so desperately need to create. I want to show up for my life each day and seek out the beauty that is there even if it is hiding it is always there. If I hide it away and wait for the perfect time or place to pour my heart and soul into making things even if it is only five minutes a day then I will miss out on all that God has for me right now. But let's get something straight no one is perfect especially not me. All I am good for is showing up and hoping that amidst the chaos and exhaustion I will also find an outlet to maintain a deep passion for crafting.

So this is a picture of the shirt I made. Hidden underneath a favorite sweater and belt it doesn't look all that bad I guess (the tricky art of making things look good in a photo). It reminds me that make something monday doesn't always have to mean a glossy perfect picture of how to whip up something fabulous on a dime.

It means making something with all that you are, whatever you have to give bring that. Show up and experiment, play around with the crazy idea swirling in your head. No pressure just some time for yourself. Make a cup of tea and put it in your favorite pretty cup. Put on some earrings and make yourself feel beautiful because you are. Make yourself lunch today not just the scraps leftover on your kids plates. Print out some photos that you took and make a display for others to see them. Make time for yourself, even if it is only thirty minutes and it doesn't turn out just the way you planned make some time to do something that fills you up. 

The truth of the matter is while I was making my recycled amazingly fabulous doily man frock I was in absolute heaven and no amount of failed projects can ever take away the feeling of satisfaction that comes from attempting to make something more from what I have been given.

So it is Monday friends lets make it good.