in these shoes

I am a Mother, a Wife, a Sister, a Friend, a Daughter.

I am a Chef, a Nurse, a Housekeeper, a Counselor, a Teacher, a Personal Assistant, a Lover, a Business Woman, an Encourager, an Artist, a Woman seeking God.

Some days I wake up and the shoes just don't fit right. I feel calloused and sore; blisters where I am breaking in the heel, rough around the toes, my shoes are too big to fill.

The victories of my parents and their mistakes become my greatest tools. I am humbled when I must get onto my knees and beg forgiveness from my child because I punished him when he did not deserve, I raised my voice out of emotion I forgot to breath deeply before reacting.

I relish the moments of soft hugs and kisses and compliments from those whose needs I aim to meet each day, tirelessly sometimes.

I want to be the ark where they run when the rain comes. The one who holds them when life gets too big.

But my feet hurt sometimes and I question if all that I am doing even matters.

It's that moment in the hospital when the nurse tells you; you are free to leave with your baby. You look at your spouse and tears fill your eyes "what, are you sure? He is so small, I am scared"

In that moment you feel the exact same feeling that you feel each day after, waking up and knowing that you have been entrusted with the biggest gift known to man, the gift of raising a child.

Today I will keep walking, keep trying but I admit my imperfection. And I am so very thankful that in those moments my God will make beauty out of my humble attempt.

Re-posting from July 2009.