I remember this day

 
like it was yesterday. 

I was a grump. 

It was February 2010 and I had two adorable busy boys at home making me laugh and wanting my attention, they wanted me to play with them and tickle them and make them yummy treats.

but I was being a total grump. 

Mommy was preoccupied with wanting something more. A new baby to be exact but I had been waiting and waiting and waiting to get pregnant and nothing was happening and on this day I had thought it was another failed month so I was crying and carrying on and yelling at God and totally ignoring my sweet blessings named Simon and Levi.

Simon came into my room, looked up at my sad eyes and told me we needed to take a walk and he was right.

and so we did.

It was perfectly refreshing and a good reminder that God holds my future so tenderly in His hands and all He asks of me is to live in the moment and enjoy the gifts He has laid before me for EACH day one at a time. 
I remember this day like it was yesterday.

Mommy was actually pregnant but thought she wasn't and she was being a total grump.

Oh how I wish I could take these moments back. This perfect walk. The gift of my boys at age 2 and 3. If I had trusted that God had His perfect plan in motion I would have been more present.

How easy is it to get fixated on the next thing, more of the story more of what we think will make us perfectly happy.

I long to be present in each moment throughout my day. I long to be content and not look for fairness but rather grace and truth. Oh how I wish I could have the moments of this day back to LIVE my life FULL and not somewhere off in the future. 

Teach me Lord to rest in you today, to trust in you and to believe in your perfect ways.

Although God was so faithful to answer my hearts cry then I constantly find myself back at the start again needing Him to order my mind and center my thoughts on Him.

These photos reminded me today to stop and be present and to know that God is the one that unfolds our lives and I just need to cling to His perfect ways.

(PS. Mommy is NOT currently hoping to be pregnant for the record just feeling nostalgic and thankful today)
Posted by Rebekah at 5:39 PM
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15 comments:

  1. prettybabyMay 31, 2011 at 5:46 PM

    Amen! awesome words of wisdom xx

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  2. annaleaMay 31, 2011 at 6:18 PM

    i'll join you in that prayer. :)
    thank you for the reminder.

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  3. RebekahMay 31, 2011 at 8:36 PM

    I'm in this same kind of space in my head right now. Thankful for what I've been given. A dear friend's husband died this weekend in a kayaking accident. She has 3 small children under age 5 and one more on the way. My husband and I had a date scheduled for tonight and he asked if I still felt like going out. Of course I went because, now more than ever, I am acutely aware that I need time with him. Those couple hours were precious to me, partly due to the fact, that I know my friend doesn't get any more of those moments with her husband. Please pray for peace for her and her beautiful children. And thank you for the reminder to be in the moment and to practice contentment. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!

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  4. Heather @ Life Made LovelyMay 31, 2011 at 9:24 PM

    this is such a brilliant post rebekah. just about every day i am in complete and utter awe over God's patience and forgiveness for us, the doubters. i'm praying with you. i want to live in the moment, full of His grace and His beauty.

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  5. PeeperMay 31, 2011 at 10:11 PM

    I am so close to being where you were last February. With a miscarriage not even 3 weeks behind me, I find myself doubting and angry. My hormones are coasting to a quieter place making it easier to be open but it is still so painful and so hard. I'll take this post as a reminder that I should at least keep trying.

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  6. meg + andyMay 31, 2011 at 10:24 PM

    such a great post- thank you for sharing. this encouragement/challenge meets me just where i am right now. :)

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  7. AmandaJune 1, 2011 at 9:22 AM

    It's so nice that you are so honest about your faith in God and, equally important, your faith in His TIMING! Thank you for this post!

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  8. kathleenJune 1, 2011 at 1:56 PM

    that is exactly how im feeling today too! i think especially so because i was reading "one thousand gifts" by ann voskamp during this morning and at 34 weeks pregnant, giving anything your all is hard. i truly love how honest you are and you inspire me to be a more creative mom!

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  9. KerryJune 2, 2011 at 4:26 AM

    This post is beautiful and a reminder for us all to live in the moment. I have had moments like these where I focus too much on other things instead of what is in front of me. But I think just by recognising that fact is a positive thing...by making mistakes we learn and we change everyday and hopefully become better for it. (Hi Rebekah, I'm new to reading your blog btw!)

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  10. Elena (Running in Heels After Child)June 2, 2011 at 9:09 AM

    I have a friend who is struggling to get pregnant, and it is so hard when you are in it. I try and tell her, it will happen, something will happen. It is all meant to be and it will work out.

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  11. MeganJune 2, 2011 at 10:21 AM

    Wow, this is an amazing reminder to all of us to be still and know. Thank you.

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  12. MidoriJune 4, 2011 at 12:12 AM

    I love this! I love your post and is such a great reminder to be present and to live in the moment. Reminds me of what Ferris Bueller would say, "Life moves pretty fast. if you don't stop and look around once in a while you could miss it!"

    But what you said stuck out to me the most, "I long to be present in each moment throughout my day. I long to be content and not look for fairness but rather grace and truth." Amen to that! :)

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  13. AngieJune 7, 2011 at 1:08 PM

    So true. What a lovely post, thank you for sharing ;-)

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  14. DebJune 8, 2011 at 4:20 AM

    i loved this. so much so, I shared it on my fb page in the hopes that it will speak to others as it did to me =)

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  15. jewelrymakingkitsAugust 5, 2011 at 5:25 AM

    The smile of an innocent child is meaningful and powerful. It speaks of an unconditional and mixed feeling.

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    Jewelry Making Kits

    ReplyDelete

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