like it was yesterday.
I was a grump.
It was February 2010 and I had two adorable busy boys at home making me laugh and wanting my attention, they wanted me to play with them and tickle them and make them yummy treats.
but I was being a total grump.
Mommy was preoccupied with wanting something more. A new baby to be exact but I had been waiting and waiting and waiting to get pregnant and nothing was happening and on this day I had thought it was another failed month so I was crying and carrying on and yelling at God and totally ignoring my sweet blessings named Simon and Levi.
Simon came into my room, looked up at my sad eyes and told me we needed to take a walk and he was right.
and so we did.
It was perfectly refreshing and a good reminder that God holds my future so tenderly in His hands and all He asks of me is to live in the moment and enjoy the gifts He has laid before me for EACH day one at a time.
I remember this day like it was yesterday.
Mommy was actually pregnant but thought she wasn't and she was being a total grump.
Oh how I wish I could take these moments back. This perfect walk. The gift of my boys at age 2 and 3. If I had trusted that God had His perfect plan in motion I would have been more present.
How easy is it to get fixated on the next thing, more of the story more of what we think will make us perfectly happy.
I long to be present in each moment throughout my day. I long to be content and not look for fairness but rather grace and truth. Oh how I wish I could have the moments of this day back to LIVE my life FULL and not somewhere off in the future.
Teach me Lord to rest in you today, to trust in you and to believe in your perfect ways.
Although God was so faithful to answer my hearts cry then I constantly find myself back at the start again needing Him to order my mind and center my thoughts on Him.
These photos reminded me today to stop and be present and to know that God is the one that unfolds our lives and I just need to cling to His perfect ways.
(PS. Mommy is NOT currently hoping to be pregnant for the record just feeling nostalgic and thankful today)