deep breaths :: finding inspiration

{glitter painting with Simon in January 2009}

Mr. Gough has decided in the new year to start blogging again. This year he is on a quest to investigate his deep passion for music and writing in many forms. He has only posted a few times so far but I have enjoyed what he has come up with, in particular yesterday's post about the idea of inspiration and where it truly comes from. He posted a Ted Talk that I had actually watched before but decided to listen to again about the concept of being inspired by a power greater than ourselves - in my opinion the Holy Spirit. I absolutely love this idea, it so resonates with how I feel about my own creative process and why I find myself constantly needing to express the things that flow through my mind and heart.

It also brings up thoughts of comparison and competition in my mind too. When I was eighteen I ventured on my own to live in the city of Chicago to attend a music conservatory, studying vocal performance. I was so excited to be pursing my dreams, SO excited but was faced with the shock of harsh competition and back biting that often comes with seeking out the arts and desiring success. I was young and found favor with one of the top vocal coaches and some of the older women who had been clawing for  a spot much longer than I were simply unbearable to deal with. I would often go home and sob myself to sleep, I really could not handle it.

I decided that I would rather not pursue the harsh world of music and the risk of being criticized and compared and I hated how uncomfortable it felt to promote myself in that arena. I had learned to sing in the church and through the deep comfort of the Holy Spirit and in my childhood I would sing to myself finding intimacy with the Lord through music.

But the idea of competition and comparison is so so real. Even in blogging and being "the creative type" I find myself getting jealous or annoyed when others in my circle are considered the "real talent on the crafting front"  or the "one with all the musical ability" - silly silly me.

This Ted Talk actually deeply reminds me of one of my sister in laws, Kristen whom I have known longer than our husbands who just happen to be brothers. She herself is an incredible song writer and worship leader and I remember in our twenties sharing our songs with one another and singing together. I remember one evening being inspired through a conversation with her about the truth that: no matter what gifts another person is given, no matter how obvious or great, they can never ever take away the gifts that are inside of you it can only make yours more beautiful and perfect when added together.

I often think about this idea, when I am at home simply doing crafts with my kids or making a masterpiece for dinner. How all inspiration is truly from above, how we are all made in the image of God but not one of us is the entire image we just each have our own piece of the reflection of his beauty. I love creating, I also LOVE helping others create. I have taught jewelry making at a bead store in Seattle off and on for many years and one of my favorite parts is bringing the project, explaining it and then watching as the inspiration light bulb turns on for the women participating. It's like they are little girls playing dress up - giddy with excitement that what I created has expanded and become something that they have created that is uniquely their own. How much more God must delight in seeing us be inspired by something he has created!

This is all sort of a bit of jumbled thoughts coming out this Friday morning but none the less a reminder to myself that we are all a work in progress but we won't find inspiration if we are looking around at others, comparing and criticizing it is only when we open ourselves up to the one who gives the greatest of inspiration in my opinion the greatest artist of all time, the Lord.

*if you would like to listen to the adorable song Chris wrote the other morning and recorded on his iphone about our son Levi, check it out here - and you can find the awesome Ted Talk with Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, Love here!*