Oh this season, it has been whirling by and it feels at times that I don't have much to show for it. I haven't unpacked all of the decorations and lights and probably won't, no gift guides or cookie baking weekends or big holiday parties. The elf has been left on the same shelf multiple times to the frustration of my seven year old son who so desperately wants to keep believing a little longer.
I did finally get the kids set up on a salt dough ornament activity last week after the craziest morning that had already pushed me to my limit. I soldiered on though because they were all so excited and had my camera out to share about the morning here on the blog. I turned my back for a minute and the baby took a giant bite of dough, started gagging and projectile vomited all over my pretty crafting table and everyone's masterpieces…three times.
I know how incredibly funny that is - but it was pretty frustrating at the time…I often hate how annoyed I get when my big dreamy expectations of what the holidays are suppose to look like aren't met. I wish I was better at shrugging it off and laughing and embracing but it's not always easy for me, I am still learning.
This morning we woke up to a beautiful blanket of snow and news that the last day of school for the year had been cancelled so we all ran around outside for a good while soaking it in before heading into the warm house for hot cocoa and breakfast. I've resorted to the fact that I won't get to all the christmas crafting tutorials I had lined up, or the handmade gifts sitting on my desk. But this weekend my little girl is dancing in her first ballet at just three years old and, wow that will be magical for sure!
I don't want to miss it. I don't want to let my expectations of what Christmas is suppose to look like interfere with what Christmas is. I know that two thousand years ago a baby was born in a dirty stable to a mother who had no idea what to expect - and when hope and life is laid in your hands sometimes it doesn't look perfect or easy or how you want it to. I don't want to miss the whirling reality that Jesus came to earth and brought within himself the kind of love that I can't fathom but only accept as a beautiful gift.
So this season I am choosing to try to be present and to do the things on my list with a little more joy than feels possible and to see the magic and wonder in the eyes of my children just a little longer…I am going to leave the salt dough ornaments for another year though.
I will be back in 2014 to share more of our life in this place online that I love - I hope you have a wonderful holiday season my friends and know that even if it doesn't all look perfect it is full of hope and life and more love than you can fathom and it's all still worth it! Merry Christmas! xoxo
